Why You Still Feel Nervous, Even When You're Fully Prepared

And how to feel calm, confident, and in control before your next big interview or meeting.

You've done the preparation. You know your examples, your stories, your results. But then the moment comes. The interview starts, or the meeting begins, and your body suddenly betrays you. Your heart races, your mouth goes dry, you lose your words.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many confident, capable people struggle with nerves before important conversations. The problem isn't that you're not ready - it's that your body doesn't believe you are.

The good thing is that you can train your body to stay calm and help your confidence catch up with your preparation.

Step 1: Understand what's really happening

When we care about an outcome (of a job interview, a presentation, or a big meeting), our body sees it as a potential threat. It doesn't matter that it's not life or death, the brain still releases adrenaline and cortisol and you go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Your mind can suddenly go blank, or your voice can shake, even though you practised. It's not a mindset issue, it's a state issue.

If you can accept that nerves are your body trying to protect you, you can stop fighting them and help your system calm down.

Action: The next time you feel nervous before an interview or meeting, say to yourself:

"My body is not against me, it's just trying to help me perform."

Then notice where you feel the nerves. Is it in your chest? Your hands? Your throat?

Take one slow breath and imagine that area softening just a bit. This helps you shift from judging your nerves and trying to fight them to observing them.

After this, label what's happening (e.g., "my heart is racing because I care"). When you do this, you activate the rational part of your brain. Even if it seems simple, this awareness interrupts the cycle of panic and gives you back control.

Step 2: Redefine confidence

Confidence doesn't mean being loud, fearless or never feeling nervous. It means being grounded enough to think clearly, even when you care about the outcome.

Confident people still feel their heart racing. The difference is they know how to steady it.

Action: Ask yourself:

"What does confidence feel like in my body?"

Think about a time you felt at ease. Maybe it was chatting with a friend, or explaining something you know well. Notice how your breathing feels, the pace of your voice, and your posture. That's your natural confident state.

Before your next interview or meeting, take 10 seconds to reconnect to that feeling. It helps remind your body what calm confidence actually feels like. This turns confidence from a vague concept into something physical and achievable.

Step 3: Practise calm, not just answers

Most people prepare for interviews, meetings, or presentations by rehearsing what to say. Not many people practice how to feel while saying it.

If you always practise your answers in a relaxed, private space, your body won't know when your nerves kick in. The trick is to practice under pressure to train your system to stay calm when it matters.

Action: Next time you rehearse:

1. Add a small element of pressure. Record yourself or ask a friend to listen. This naturally raises your heart rate, helping you simulate real conditions (even if only a little)

2. Before you start answering, notice your body. Feel your heartbeat, your breath, or the nervous energy. Instead of fighting it, remind yourself, "this is what focus feels like."

3. Ground yourself for 10 seconds. Take one slow breath and press your feet into the floor before you start speaking

4. Practise one question while standing or sitting upright (just as you would in the real setting). Deliver your answer calmly, focusing on slowing your pace and adding natural pauses

5. Reflect afterwards. Ask yourself, "what helped me stay calm?" "where did I lose focus?" - small observations like this help you improve each time.

You're training your nervous system and creating muscle memory to link preparation with calm, instead of panic. Your shaky hands or faster heart rate don't mean danger, they mean you care.

Step 4: Try this 30-second grounding exercise

You can do this right before an interview, presentation or meeting.

Action:

1. Place your feet flat on the floor

2. Take a slow breath in through your nose for 4 counts

3. Hold for 2 counts

4. Breathe out gently through your mouth for 6 counts

5. As you exhale, press your feel lightly into the floor and notice the weight of your body in the chair

6. Look around the room and name three things you can see

7. Notice one thing you can feel (the fabric of your clothes, the surface of your chair, the touch of your skin)

This simple exercise signals to your nervous system that you're safe and present. It helps slow your heart rate and bring oxygen back to your brain. Practice this once a day for a week, even when you're not nervous. That way, your body learns the habit of calming down quickly.

You can also watch me guide you through a 4-minute version of this exercise. It’s a calm space to practise grounding before an interview, meeting or presentation.

Step 5: Build your "calm confidence" ritual

The most successful speakers, athletes, and leaders have a pre-performance ritual (small, repeatable habits that tell their body "it's time to perform". These rituals create familiarity, which in turn creates calm.

Action: Design your own mini-ritual. Here are some ideas:

• Step outside for two minutes of slow breathing

• Listen to a playlist that grounds you rather than pumps you up

• Do one gentle stretch to release tension in your shoulders

• Say one calming phrase to yourself (e.g., "I've prepared, I've got this, I can handle this")

Experiment with a few until you find a mix that helps you feel focused but related. Over time your ritual becomes a powerful cue for your body to switch into "calm confidence" mode automatically. It helps you show up centred, when the stakes feel high.

Next Steps:

If this resonates with you, you're not alone. I work with clients who are great at their jobs but lose confidence under pressure, in interviews, meetings, and presentations.

Together we focus on practical tools to:

• Manage nerves

• Speak with calm confidence

• rebuild your natural impact

You don't need to be fearless. You just need the right techniques to stay grounded when it matters most. You can book a free 30-minute audit with me where I’ll help you identify what triggers your nerves, review how you come across in high-pressure situations, and give you 3 ways to reset before you next big moment. You can book here: book your audit