How to Show Up at Work When Life is Full of Stress

Life doesn't pause when you log on to work. Moving house, caring for a sick relative, planning a wedding, stressing over BTS tickets.. these aren't small things, and they can easily pull your mind away from your professional presence. Even smaller distractions, like whether the outfit you ordered online will be delivered in time for the party, can show just how much our attention shifts under pressure.

All of these things can leave you feeling tense, scattered, or just mentally overloaded. And on its own, any one of these things is usually manageable. Caring for a sick parent, moving house or delivering a presentation is still stressful. But when multiple pressures all happen at once, that's when your focus, confidence, and ability to communicate clearly start to wobble.

Maybe you're caring for a sick parent, but also having to deliver a client presentation. Or managing a project while moving house, and trying to keep up with a busy social life. Life outside piles up, and at the same time you're trying to keep everything on track at work.

The challenge isn't having stress. It's how it shows up in your confidence, communication, and ability to be present at work.

So... what can we do about it?

1. Acknowledge and name the stress

When you're juggling personal pressures and work, your mind can get cluttered. It's easy to try ignore or push down the feelings, but more often than not, that just makes it grow. Naming it helps you see clearly what's happening and where your energy is going.

Coaching exercise:

1. Take 10-12 minutes (research shows this is enough for your brain to start settling( to write down everything that's pulling at your attention and organise in two columns: Personal Pressures and Work Priorities

2. Notice where your tension shows up physically or mentally: racing thoughts, tight shoulders, feeling all over the place

3. Pick the top one or two pressures in each column that are truly urgent or affecting your confidence the most

4. For each, decide one concrete action you can take today to make progress

5. Reflect: How did naming the stress and taking one small step change how you feel and what you can focus on at work?

2. Break tasks into small, manageable steps

When tasks pile up, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Breaking projects down makes it feel less overwhelming and gives your brain to think clearly.

Coaching exercise:

1. Choose one task that feels heavy or overwhelming right now

2. Break it down into 3 to 5 small, actionable steps that could take 30-60 minutes

3. Schedule the first step in your calendar today

4. While working on that step, notice any tension or anxiety that arises. Write a quick note about it. What's the 'worse-case' worry in your head?

5. After completing the step, pause and reflect: Has the stress shifted? Are you able to think clearly or communicate more confidently?

3. Communicate proactively

When life feels full, stress can make us avoid conversations, speak hesitantly, or overcomplicate messages. Proactive communication sets expectations and protects your professional presence, and planning what to say ahead of time helps prevent stress from spilling into your communication.

Coaching exercise:

1. Identify one upcoming conversation, email, or meeting where you might feel stressed

2. Draft a short, proactive message or talking point that communicates:

   • what you can realistically deliver

   • when it will be done or sets expectations

   • any support or input you need

3. Deliver the message or have the conversation

4. After the conversation, reflect: What did planning this ahead do for your confidence and the way you communicated?

4. Reframe stress as insight

Stress isn't a weakness. It's information. It shows where your priorities, gaps, or where you might need support. Instead of fighting it, you can use it to guide intentional action.

Coaching exercise:

1. Pick one source of stress today

2. Ask: what is this stress telling me about what's most important or where I need to act?

3. Decide one intentional action based on that insight, e.g., clarifying a deadline with a colleague, delegating a task, or scheduling focused time for work

4. After taking the action, reflect: How did this change how I feel? Did it help me engage more clearly or show up more present in conversations?

5. Build small, daily habits to manage stress

Consistency matters. Small daily habits can reduce stress, make your workload feel more manageable, and give you space to communicate clearly and show up fully at work.

Coaching exercise:

1. Each morning, note one personal pressure and one work priority

2. Decide one small action for each that you can realistically do that day, e.g., drafting a short email, completing a 30-minute chunk of a report, scheduling a family task, delegating something at home

3. Before your next meeting or conversation, identify one key point you want to communicate clearly

4. At the end of the day, reflect: How did intentionally addressing stress in small steps affect your focus, mood, and ability to communicate?

When it helps to talk to someone

Sometimes self-reflection and small steps are enough. Other times, the stress sits deeper in your body and mind, and it starts showing up in how you speak, lead, or make decisions at work. And that's often a point where talking to someone can really help.

Working with a coach can give you space to explore how stress is affecting your confidence, your communication, and the way you show up professionally.

In coaching, we might look at patterns, triggers, boundaries, and practical ways to respond differently, so you feel more grounded and mroe able to express yourself clearly and confidently at work.

And sometimes, what you're carrying isn't just about work. If the stress feels heavy, overwhelming, or linked to grief, anxiety, or past experiences, a therapist may be the right support.

Therapy can help you process the emotional weight underneath the stress, while coaching focuses more on how you move forward and function in your day-to-day life and relationships at work.

If you're not sure which one you need, that's okay. A lot of the time, the first step is about acknowledging that you don't have to hold everything on your own.

If anything in this resonated and you'd like a space to untangle the stress, explore what's happening in your work life, and build more confidence in how you show up and communicate, get in touch.

Not sure if coaching is right for you?

Start with a one-hour mini coaching session to get clarity, practical guidance, and clear next steps. No pressure, just focused support.

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