Job Interview Tip: It's not what you did, it's how you talk about it
Updated: Sep 16
When I coach clients for interviews, I often hear them answering competency-based questions by telling me what they did, step by step. The story makes sense, but it's not what the interviewers are listening for. The example itself isn't the problem, but how they talk about it.
Changing the way you explain your actions can make all the difference between a good answer and a great answer.
Here's 5 steps you can take to turn any interview question into a behaviour-focused answer that shows your skills, thinking, and alignment with company values.
From question to behaviour-focused answer
Example question: Tell me about a time you worked on a project with colleagues from different teams or backgrounds
Step 1: Understand what they're really asking
Most people hear this and think they want a simple answer of teamwork or collaboration. But a deeper look shows they're assessing multiple things:
How you communicate with different people
How you collaborate and include different perspectives
How you adapt your approach (without losing authenticity)
How you problem-solve when people have different priorities
How you demonstrate professionalism and leadership
Another important layer is the company's values. A lot of organisations use interview questions to see not just what you did, but whether your behaviour aligns with that they care about. For example,
If inclusivity is a value, showing that you intentionally give quieter voices space
If collaboration is a value, explaining how you actively bring different teams together
If innovation is a value, highlighting how you encouraged diverse perspectives to generate better ideas
When you understand both the behaviours and the company's values, you can frame your language in a way that shows how you think, act, and that you're also a good cultural fit.
Step 2: Choose the example
Once you understand what they're assessing, pick a situation from your experience that demonstrates those behaviours. For this question, a strong example might be one where you had a clear goal and worked with diverse perspectives/ways of working.
If you're not sure how to find examples, read my blog on How to prepare for interviews when you don't know what to say
Step 3: Identify the behaviours and competencies to highlight
With your chosen example, think about what behaviours and skills it can demonstrate. This step goes deeper than step 1 - you're not just thinking about what the interview wants, but you're deciding how your story can show it.
for example, in a project where you worked with colleagues from different teams, you might want to demonstrate:
Inclusivity / awareness: noticing quieter voices and encouraging them to contribute
Communication / listening: summarising points, asking clarifying questions, checking understanding across the team
Decision-making / problem-solving: balancing different priorities and helping the team to reach a solution
Professionalism / leadership: keeping the team aligned, managing disagreements/conflicts and keeping the project on track
Alignment with company values: demonstrating behaviours that reflect what the organisation cares about, e.g., curiosity, integrity, respect, excellence, sustainability, diversity and inclusion
Step 4: Frame your answer using behaviour-focused language
In the blog I referenced in step 2, I explained the CARR (context, action, result, reflection) structure. As a starting point, frameworks like this are really useful. But it needs to go a bit deeper.
Used as a tick-box exercise, "I did this, then I spoke to that person, the result was this." is technically fine. But it doesn't show behaviours, judgement, or thinking behind the action.
So instead of, "I organised a meeting, spoke to the team, and we agreed on a solution"
You can frame it in a way that shows awareness and intentional behaviour,
"I noticed some team members weren't speaking up in meetings, so I made sure everyone had a chance to contribute. I did this by asking the quieter members for their thoughts in smaller groups or individually before we discussed as a full team. That way, everyone felt their ideas were heard and we could make a decision that balanced priorities from every department. I learned that actively creating space for different thinking and communication styles leads to better decisions."
In essence, this is the same example, but the language now shows awareness, inclusivity, and decision-making as well as actions.
You can highlight different behaviours depending on the point you want to make:
Facilitation: I made sure everyone had a chance to contribute by going around the room and asking each person for their perspective before opening the discussion more widely.
Adapting to different thinking styles: I made sure everyone could share by offering different ways to share ideas. We started by writing our ideas down, then those who wanted to share out loud could. I then summarised the key points so everyone could build on them.
Encouraging quieter voices: I checked in individually with team members who hadn't spoken yet for their ideas or concerns.
Balancing dominant voices: When a few people were dominating the discussion, I helped make space for others by summarising what had been said and inviting the quieter team members to add their thoughts. This made sure all voices were heard.
Step 5: show multiple behaviours in one answer
A strong interview doesn't just demonstrate one behaviour in each answer but it layers multiple in every answer so the interviewer has a richer picture of how you work. For example, thinking back to step 1, in a project with colleagues from different teams, as well as inclusivity, you can demonstrate:
Problem-solving: how you balance different priorities and guide the team toward the best outcome
Adaptability: how you adjust your approach depending on different personalities, working styles, or unexpected changes
Emotional intelligence: how you pick up on team dynamics and respond appropriately
Decision-making: how you make clear choices while considering different perspectives
Leadership/ownership: how you take responsibility for keeping the project on track
Collaboration: how you actively encourage participation and teamwork
Takeaway
So before you answer a question in a job interview, pause and ask yourself:
What is this question really trying to assess?
What behaviours and competencies are they looking for?
How can I show how I work, the thinking behind my actions, and how my behaviours reflect the skills and values the organisation cares about
Answering with this in mind will help you naturally shift your language from "this is what I did" to "this is how I acted and why" and you can turn your story into a memorable, high-impact answer.
Want support putting this into practice?
Knowing all of this is one thing. Learning how to understand what the question is trying to assess, identify your strongest evidence, build flexible stories and confidently adapt them when an interviewer asks a question is another.
If you find interviews hard or need a space to practice and get honest feedback, coaching can help.
My Interview Success Programme combines structured preparation, practice and personalised feedback to help you understand your own experience clearly, communicate your value, handle unexpected questions and feel more confident and in control during interviews.
Not ready to commit to a full programme yet?
My mini-coaching session is a great way to experience coaching. We'll take a real interview challenge you're dealing with, explore what's getting in the way and work out a practical next step you can use straight away.
About me
Hi, I'm Beverley, Confidence and Communication Coach
I've always been a little shy. As a kid, speaking up felt scary and even when I tried to speak up, it felt like I was trying too hard and ended up misunderstood. That feeling of being overlooked or not heard followed me into my career.
Interviews were a big part of that. I could be really nervous, but I learned how to manage those nerves, think clearly under pressure and actually perform well in an interview rather than letting nerves decide how I came across.
My career in HR gave me another perspective. I interviewed candidates and was part of conversations about who to hire and why, so I saw first hand what hiring managers were really listening for beyond a candidate just having the right experience.
Over time, through HR and coaching, I learned how to communicate clearly, hold my ground, and make my voice count. Now, I help others do the same.
Comments