A big part of my work as a confidence and communication coach is helping people recognise their progress. I spend a lot of time encouraging clients to notice their growth, celebrate their wins, and see how far they've already come (not just how far they still want to go).

And because I am human, sometimes I fall into the exact same trap.

I can be hard on myself, overlook my own progress, and on heavier days, I can catch myself thinking about going back to a life that felt simpler and more comfortable (but definitely not happier).

But this week I went to a networking event and the question I often get asked at these events is, "who is your target market", and I always say the same thing:

The version of me from 10, 15 years ago who needed someone like me.

And this morning, I started thinking about my younger self and how proud she would be of the person I've become. So here is a list of things my younger self would be proud of.

What would your younger self be proud of? Let me know in the comments and lets celebrate together.

1. I turned my experience into purpose

I didn't just survive hard things, I built meaning out of them.

I lost my parents in my 20s and had to navigate grief while still trying to find my place in the world. Two weeks after losing my dad, I was made redundant. I then started a new job where I was the only HR professional in the office (but with the title of HR assistant).

I was explicitly told I could not build friendships with anyone at work, which left me feeling really lonely and full of self-doubt. I had to do payroll for 200 employees, with no one to ask for help and the constant worry that if I made a mistake, I would be directly responsible for someone ending up in a difficult situation. I had to dismiss employees for logging into the system one minute late three times in three months, and I felt completely out of my depth. I had a meeting with the CEO every week, and he intimidated me so much that my confidence (which I was still building at that point) took a huge hit.

At the same time, I was studying for my Master's in Human Resource Management and the first draft of my dissertation proposal (title: managing wellbeing at work while dealing with grief) was sent back to me with the note "needs to be completely rewritten". Apparently grieving while working in a toxic job and writing about wellbeing in the workplace does not always translate well into academic language.

I was just doing what I needed to do to keep going. I wasn't thinking about how any of this might shape me or what I would do with it later. I just felt heavy and overwhelmed.

Now I can see how much those experiences have influenced the way I work and the way I listen. They gave me depth, empathy, and an understanding of resilience that you can't learn a degree or a textbook.

2. I back myself professionally

This is definitely something my younger self would struggle to believe.

I work for myself and I design my own programmes. I trust my experience, my judgements and my instincts enough to charge for my work. It might sound simple, but for a long time, if you had cut me open, you would have found self doubt, self criticism, and a constant need to be liked, rather than trusting that I deserved to be there.

I second-guessed everything I did, worried that my ideas weren't good enough, worried what other people would think of me. I looked for reassurance from everyone else before believing that I had the right to trust my own voice.

Self doubt still shows up from time to time, but it no longer runs the show and my younger self would be so proud that I back myself, even when it feels uncomfortable.

3. I help people find their voice

A huge part of my work is helping people communicate with confidence. Helping them stop over-explaining, apologising, or shrinking themselves in rooms where they belong.

When I think about it, that is exactly what I needed 10 years ago. I spent so long believing I had to earn the right to speak and that my voice needed to be perfect, softened, or justified. In meetings, I knew I had to say something, but I didn't trust my voice, so I spent more time trying to think about what the other person wanted to hear, rather than saying what I actually thought. And then I spent even longer worrying that what I said wasn't good enough.

Now, I help other people find their voice and their confidence. I watch them start small, testing out their voice in safe spaces, and then gradually owning it in bigger spaces. Seeing them grow reminds me of my own journey, and my younger self would be proud that I now help other people trust their voice, even in spaces that feel intimidating.

4. I sit with discomfort instead of running from it

I reflect A LOT now. I ask myself difficult questions, notice patterns in my thinking and behaviour, and put myself in situations where I once would have run a mile.

Even 5 years ago, younger me looked confident and able to do anything on the outside. But inside... not so much. I'm even thinking about a time when I was told I would have to go into a room of angry employees in a very male-dominated industry to support the running of a focus group. They'd had a similar session a year earlier and nothing had changed, so instead of seeing the focus group as an opportunity to make meaningful change, they were skeptical and frustrated that money was being wasted.

When I was told about this task, I smiled and said, "okay, no problem". But as soon as the call ended, I cried. And then I went in and did the work. I put on a smile, made small talk and powered through to the end. On the inside, I was terrified.

Back then, I tried to avoid situations like that whenever I could. I didn't see it as growth, I just got through. It's only recently, looking back, that I can recognise the courage it took to just show up. My younger self would be SO proud that I even tried, even when it was scary and overwhelming.

5. I choose growth now, even when it feels uncomfortable

These days, I'm not just showing up - I'm actively putting myself in uncomfortable situations. I'm planning events, speaking in public, putting myself on social media, and attending networking events.

I still do things that scare me:

I create content event when perfectionism tells me it isn't good enough.

I go to networking events even though I know they'll leave me exhausted afterwards.

I take on new opportunities without waiting to feel fully ready or confident.

For so many years, I believed confidence had to come first, but now I know it usually comes after you take action, and that it grows bit by bit. Even when I still feel nervous or unsure, I do it anyway. My younger self would be so proud that I keep moving forward, even when it feels uncomfortable or when it's not perfect.

6. I am both softer and stronger

I feel this one every day.

I allow myself to feel anxious, heavy, and overwhelmed. I don't pretend to be confident all the time, but I also don't let those feelings stop me from doing the things that matter to me.

Younger me thought strength meant holding everything together, never showing fear or admitting when things felt hard. She would be so proud I've learned that strength can include softness, self compassion, and still taking action.

A final thought from me

It's easy to measure progress by outcomes - income, job titles, confidence levels, visibility, number of social media followers. But my younger self would be so proud that I kept going even when it was hard, that I built something honest, and that I became someone she would feel safe becoming.

And I think that's worth celebrating more.