Why You Feel Confident One Day and Full of Self-Doubt the Next

Have you ever noticed how one day you feel unstoppable - confident, articulate, and clear. And then the next day, you're questioning everything? You haven't lost your skills overnight. What's changed is your state.

Confidence and self-doubt aren't opposites on a straight line. They're part of the same system. when you understand that system, you stop taking the dips personally and start managing them instead,

A lot of people assume confidence feels like calm or effortless. But real confidence isn't about being fearless. It's about showing up and taking action, even when fear is there too. That's why understanding what's really happening underneath matters. Because when your confidence suddenly dips, it's rarely about competence, but about chemistry, context, and how your nervous system is responding in that moment.

The Real Reason Confidence Fluctuates

1. Confidence is an emotional state of mind, not a fixed personality trait.

Often, we treat confidence like something we have or don't have but it's actually a state of mind that changes depending on context, emotion, and what's happening around us. When you're rested, supported, and things are going smoothly, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine and serotonin that help you feel confident and motivated. But when you're stressed, tired, on your period, or comparing yourself to others, your brain produces more cortisol (the stress hormone) and your focus shifts to what might go wrong.

So you haven't become less capable overnight. Your nervous system is reacting to what it sees as a potential threat. This is why you can feel confident one day and full of self-doubt the next.

Reflection prompt: When do you feel most confident? What patterns do you notice (time of day, environment, people around you)?

2. Self-doubt is your brain trying to keep you safe

The critical inner voice can't tell the difference between genuine danger and emotional rejection and embarrassment. So when you step up to speak, post online, or share an opinion in a meeting, your brain sounds the alarm. Recognising it as protection, not truth allows you to thank it and move forward anyway.

Try this: Next time self-doubt shows up, respond with curiosity, "Thanks for trying to protect me, but I've got this."

3. Perfectionism

A lot of people fall into the trap of thinking that confidence means certainty. It doesn't. Confidence means you trust yourself to handle whatever happens, even if it's not perfect. When your standard is, "I must get it right", doubt feels unbearable. When your standard becomes, "I'll do my best and keep learning", doubt becomes data, not failure.

The Confidence Cycle

1. Trigger: Something challenges your sense of competence

2. Interpretation: You attach meaning

3. Response: You withdraw, over-prepare, second-guess yourself

4. Reinforcement: The lack of action or connection confirms the doubt

The way to interrupt the cycle isn't just to think "positive thoughts". It's to act before the doubt becomes a story. The next time you feel self-doubt creep in, pause and ask yourself:

1. Trigger: What happened? What thought appeared?

2. Truth: What do I know to be true (about the situation and about my ability)

3. Choice: What one action will help me more forward, even just a little? (if you're not sure, ask yourself, "What would a confident version of me do right now?"

Practical ways to build sustainable confidence

1. Look at the evidence

Keep a place where you keep feedback, achievements, kind messages, and moments you're proud of. Re-read it often, especially on low days.

2. Focus on progress

Look at all situations with a growth mindset and look at experiences as data. What did you learn? What's one way you showed up, despite the discomfort? What can you do differently next time?

3. Change your self-talk

Your inner dialogue matters and sets the tone for your presence. There is a difference between, "I always mess this up", and "I'm learning how to handle this".

4. Look after yourself

When you look after yourself, prioritise sleep and rest, limit comparison triggers (like social media) and practise pushing yourself out of your comfort zone bit by bit, you can support your nervous system and your confidence can grow.

Confidence isn't about never doubting yourself. It's about learning how to deal with those fluctuations by being aware and trusting yourself.

Remember: It's temporary, it's your brain's way of keeping you safe, and confidence grows with consistency, even when it feels wobbly.

Next Steps:

If self-doubt is holding you back from feeling confident or fully yourself, you're not alone. Many of my clients come to coaching feeling exactly the same. They're capable, talented people who just wanted to stop second-guessing themselves, care less about outside opinions, and feel more comfortable in their own skin.

Together we focus on practical tools to help you:

• Build lasting confidence and self-acceptance, even when self-doubt shows up

• Develop a kinder, stronger inner voice that supports you instead of criticising you

• Respond to negative thoughts or comments with calm, clarity, and self-respect

You don't need to have everything figured out. You just need space, support, and tools that help you perform at your best.

If you want support with building your confidence, preparing for interviews or finding clarity in your career direction, get in touch.

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Start with a one-hour mini coaching session to get clarity, practical guidance, and clear next steps. No pressure, just focused support.

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