Why do I feel like a fraud at work?

Aug 4

4 min read

Updated: 2 days ago

You get the promotion, you get positive feedback, your manager tells you that you're doing a good job. But instead of thinking that you must be doing something right, you think,

"Really?"

"Are they sure?"

"Did they make a mistake?"

"How long until they realise I'm not actually as good as they think I am?"

And we call that feeling and those thoughts imposter syndrome.

People assume imposter syndrome happens because someone isn't confident, but I don't think that's quite right. Some of the most capable people I work with experience it. And these are people who are successful, trusted, and have achieved things they once dreamed about.

But they still feel like they don't quite belong, or they're fooling everyone.

Why?

Because imposter syndrome isn't really about your ability - it's about the gap between your achievements and what you believe about yourself.

You can have years of evidence that you're good at something, and still have a voice in your head saying, "yes, but..."

Yes, but I got lucky..

Yes, but someone else could have done it better.

Yes, but I still have so much to learn.

Yes, but what if next time I can't do it?

That "yes, but.." is where imposter syndrome lives and the most frustrating part is that the more successful you become, the more opportunities there are for it to appear.

A new role, a bigger project, more responsibility, a presentation in front of senior leaders, a situation where you think, "everyone here knows what they're doing, why am I here?"

But what if feeling uncomfortable isn't a sign that you don't belong and it's purely a sign that you're doing something new, that you're growing.

Think back to when you started your first job. On day one, everything probably felt overwhelming, right? You didn't know anything - the systems, the people, how decisions were made. But six months later, those same things felt normal.

Your ability didn't suddenly appear, you just built familiarity.

Confidence works the same way. Our brain is trying to explain uncertainty, and sometimes that explanation is, "maybe I'm not good enough". But uncertainty does not mean incompetence. It just means you're doing something new.

Another thing I see a lot with my clients who experience imposter syndrome is that they measure themselves against the wrong thing. They're comparing their behind the scenes with someone else's highlights reel.

They see someone confidently leading a meeting and think they've always been like that. They don't see the amount of preparation gone into it, or what's going on inside their head, or the years of experience, or the mistakes, or the moments where that person also questioned themselves. They just see the finished version and compare it to their own unfinished one.

Of course it feels unfair.

The other thing that makes imposter syndrome difficult is that the things that make you successful can sometimes fuel it. You care about doing a good job, want to product high quality work, and you have high standards. Those are good qualities.

Until they turn into, "if I make one mistake, everything I've achieved is invalid."

Sounds exhausting to me.

So how do you start overcoming imposter syndrome?

Not by trying to convince yourself that you're amazing every day. Instead, start by collecting evidence. Your brain is already collecting evidence, but probably the evidence that supports your doubts.

"that presentation was awful"

"I didn't answer that question very well"

"I don't know everything"

But start collecting the other evidence.

"I handled a difficult conversation"

"I learnt something new"

"my manager trusted me with this responsibility"

"my colleague asked for my opinion because they value my experience"

Both things can be true.

You can still have things to learn and be good at what you do.

You can still feel nervous and be capable.

You can still doubt yourself and deserve to be there.